HEAD UP, SHOULDERS BACK
Hi everyone and welcome back!
This week has been super busy, yet also a time of much reflection and intentional seeking God’s voice into the busyness of my world! Many of you know that after my Cole’s death, I took up running! I dabbled in it before his death, but really wasn’t super fond of the pain that came with it or running in 200 degree southern heat! For me, though, it was a place that I could be alone and mainly, it became my time every day that I could listen out for God or to fight it out with him. It varied day to day and came with a lot of different emotions! If you witnessed me running in the first few years, you might have seen sobbing, mild crying, screaming, or possibly laid out on the ground mad and angry! When running alone, I will always be listening to contemporary worship music which has truly been life saving and life altering for me! I have always loved music and God spoke volumes and continues to speak volumes through music to me! Now, for those who want to try this method of worship and growing your personal relationship, be prepared to be confronted with the good, bad and indifferent aspects of your life!
You see, we believers, at some point, have to stop living with our own version of who God is and our own version of Truth! The fact is that we love telling our story of blessings and beauty that we have as Christians as long as everything is going our way and life is sailing along. However, if we are seeking Him and His answers to our questions, we have to face that God never promised that we wouldn’t struggle or have pain in this life! He tells us just the opposite! It is where we go and where we find our HOPE that determines the peace and restoration we find in our lives after tragedy and loss!
This past week I was pounding the pavement, thinking of my sweet boy and really just asking God ‘why’ again! I know I will never have that answer this side of heaven, but I heard that still small voice remind me of the verses that I have clung to for several years now! Hebrews 12:1-2 ”Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.” I love these verses and really all of Hebrews! I have really had to pick these verses apart to apply them to my life and in many different areas that were hindering me from moving forward in life or causing me to question God’s love and plans for my life!
As I continued running, the picture above was placed on my heart and mind. It is one of my favorite pictures of my Cole and is precious to me! It became even more precious to me several years ago when one of Cole’s closest buddies told me that Cole used to encourage his friends during difficult workouts by saying, “guys, head up, shoulders back.” Sometime after Cole’s friend told me this, this picture came to mind. Although, Cole was just a little guy here, his little shoulders were back, head was up and he appeared to be looking up. Since that day, some years ago, I think about this picture and my life when I am running!
Isn’t it a beautiful portrait of how we should be coming to our savior everyday— head up, shoulders back? Come with the boldness and confidence that is in His power because He is our creator, provider, protector and Father! Yet, we let so much of this world entangle and hinder us! My running and training has given me such clarity and beauty in not just this picture of Cole and his words as he encouraged his friends, but also in the scriptures of Truth!
When I run, you most often will see me running on the street and not the sidewalk. There are physical reasons for this when you are running long distance! It is easier on the joints and knees. So, it is an understanding that if you are running on the road, you run facing the traffic! Now, let me just tell you that there are some wonderful and understanding people in this community and I am ever vigilant of the oncoming traffic but I have been yelled at, talked down to, corrected and many middle fingers have been sent in my direction! Most of the time I laugh it off because I do run very close to the edge and am watching most of the time. I also run in the daytime and not the nighttime. I have even laughed wondering if the people screaming at me or shooting me a bird knew that I was listening to worship music and/or having a conversation with God! I wish I could tell you that I pray for them and am always kind back but truth is, sometimes, I stop in the middle of the road and holler at them to come back so we can talk about it! For the older men that have stopped to go off on me, I smile and get really firm that I won’t be changing my ways and that they can just calm down! Anyway, I am working on my responses in love right now! But, that is a hinderance for me that I have to deal with! It interrupts my worship! That is minor, though, in the grand scheme of my life!
When I run, it is easy to get caught up in my worship, my struggles, important decisions in life, and worry over my husband or our girls! I can be distracted and start my run too fast and pace myself past my training level to the point I am exhausted and no longer focused on my race but instead on how tired I am or how much I am hurting! It is really easy at that point to just give up my race! When, I am not having a good run or race, I have noticed that I find myself looking down at the ground and my mind is distracted with discomfort and the struggle to finish! I also am not focused on the oncoming traffic and put myself in potential danger of being hit! When I have my head up and my shoulders are back, I can see ahead! I can see the oncoming cars and make eye contact with the driver so they know I know they are there! I am prepared so I can make an emergency dive for the curb, which I have done before!!
Looking ahead also gives me time to prepare for changes in my course. There may be a block in the road! Many times it is a storm that I didn’t know was coming! There have been times that I was running and it was sunny as could be. I would get four miles from home and dark clouds would be looming in front of me! This would be where I had a decision to make! Run into the potential storm with hopes I could beat it and get home before the bottom fell out or I go to a place that I could ride the storm out! My point is that at least I have a choice if I am looking forward instead of looking at the ground! Looking at the ground may prevent me from hitting some potholes but it isn’t going to give me forewarning of what is ahead or prevent me from getting hit by a car or give me the encouragement that I am almost to the end of my run! It is such a short and restricted view if all I can see is the ground in front of me!
Sometimes the things that entangle us are not horrible or bad things— friends can hinder us by judging or by putting expectations on us that we aren’t able or ready to deal with during our grief or struggles or it may be our decision of putting church work before our personal relationship with Christ or legalistic doctrine! Sometimes it is an addiction or toxic relationship or just actual disobedience! God’s word says to run our race and throw off anything that entangles us keeping our eyes fixed on Him! We cannot do this if we are looking at the ground and consumed with our pain, disappointment or loss! The more we stare at the road with that short vision, we grow weary and tired to the point we want to give up and give in! When you look forward and up, it opens your lungs so that you can breathe easier and encourages you that you are moving forward and getting closer to your goal! It is also where we can prepare for the storm ahead and more importantly, see the beautiful sunshine! In that sunshine, we can so clearly see God’s glory and HOPE for the journey!
Many of my runs are hard and arduous but those are of my own choosing! Some days, I choose to run in pouring down rain! I can cry and be sad as the rain falls down on me and cleanses my soul with every step! God gave us tears to cleanse our hearts and release some pain! I don’t choose to run if it is lightening or thundering! God doesn’t ask us to take risks that we know are deadly! He asks us to trust him during our storm! We cannot do that when our eyes are focused on the ground and not the author and perfecter of our faith!
A huge disclaimer here, I am not advocating that everyone has to be a runner! I am the only one that runs in my family! My people cheer me on while sitting in comfy chairs eating gourmet pizza! My race is different than yours but we all have one! The scripture also reminds us to run our race! When we aren’t looking ahead, we tend to drift in someone else’s running lane! It is there we bump into someone else or end up trying to run their race. Many times our friends try to get in our lane and run our race for us! They do this because they love us and are trying to help! Neither of those are healthy or productive! We must stay in our race that God has for us! He will meet you in your race! My Cole forgot for a brief time to get his head up and shoulders back and lost his focus! Please, if you are struggling to stay in your race, reach out for help! Counseling is an incredible gift, but don’t wait another minute to reach out to someone! God loves you and He wants to run your race with you! He will never hinder or prevent you from finishing! Only the enemy does that! God has already won it for you and wants you to enjoy the journey with Him!
Head Up, Shoulders Back For Today,
Rebecca