Looking for Rainbows After the Storm
Brittany Willis is one of the Board Members for the Cole Ellis Foundation. She is married to Cole Willis and they have two daughters, Olivia and Sara Bradley. Today she is sharing her story of how God used their daughter to bring joy & hope to their family thirteen years after tragedy.
I snapped this picture of Sara Bradley this morning in carpool line & it immediately brought a smile to my face!
If you know Sara Bradley, you know she has a love for rainbows that cannot be explained — little does she know the significance of rainbows from the beginning of her story. I’ve never publicly shared this, but with all the gloomy, rainy days, I felt a tugging at my heart that maybe someone needs to hear it.
Cole & I always said we only wanted one child. We were perfectly content with one, why rock the boat?! In 2015 we were reminded that God’s plans are always bigger than ours with a surprise, unexpected pregnancy. To say we were both shocked would be an understatement. “This is not part of the plan” I kept saying. We went through all of the emotions & just about the time we were both excited & ready to embrace the change, I miscarried. WHAT?! I was blindsided— I was so angry! I was angry with God! Why would He give us something we never asked for or never prayed for, only to rip it away from us. It felt so cruel & unfair.
The day I miscarried a friend sent me the Bible verse “Jesus replied, you don’t understand what I’m doing but someday you will” John 13:7 — I literally clung to this with every fiber in me & said it over & over again to myself.
Fast forward a bit. Cole & I realized something was missing from our family. We decide to try for a second baby. At my first appointment the doctor told us we should prepare for another miscarriage. My levels were not within the ‘normal’ range, but they wanted to see me again in 48 hours to recheck. That morning (48 hrs later), I cried my eyes out to Cole. “I don’t want to go to this appointment. I feel like I’m setting myself up to be broken-hearted again.” I pulled myself together so I could drive Olivia to school & head to my doctor appointment from there. I remember pleading with God the entire way to her school, “please God don’t do this again, my heart simply cannot handle it.”
This is when God reminded me of his promises. You see, Cole & his brother were involved in a car accident in 2003. Brad tragically passed away at the age of 15. Many years later as Cole & I were walking along the golf course, there was a rainbow in the sky. Cole looked up & said “every time I see a rainbow, it reminds me of Brad.” To this day, he doesn’t remember telling me that, but it always stuck with me.
As I turned into Olivia’s school still pleading with God, I was stopped dead in my tracks. Without a cloud in the sky, there was a huge rainbow. WOW! Wow, God! I see you! Most people refer to a baby following a miscarriage as a rainbow baby. I knew at that moment God was telling me to let go of my anxiety & fear. He was with us & showing me He had a plan for our rainbow baby. I remember saying “Thank you God” & at that moment my phone rang. It was Cole — “Brittany, I’ve decided boy or girl, I want to name this baby after my brother.” I sat there in silence. I just left the house crying my eyes out that we were going to lose this baby. Why in the world would he call me at this very moment & name this baby?! Remind you, I’m still staring at this rainbow. It definitely felt like a wink/nudge from Brad saying “hey, I’m here too!” From that day, blood work improved & I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy (minus an emergency appendectomy at 21 weeks pregnant).
The morning of September 6, 2016 came. From the moment we woke up, the day just felt weird. It was the 13th anniversary of Cole & Brad’s accident. Cole is a man of very few words, but he is especially quiet on September 6th & December 11th (Brad’s birthday) every year. There are no adequate words for those days & I never force the conversation. I truly believe Cole struggled for 13 years with the internal questioning of “if there is a God, why would he allow my brother to die in my arms?!” That afternoon, I was hurting & uncomfortable, but we still had 4 weeks until baby’s due date (we did not find out gender prior to delivery). I went back & forth on calling doctor/going to hospital, but by 7pm, Cole & I both knew it was time. I remember on the way to hospital Cole said something along the lines of “I knew all along this was going to happen.” Sure enough, on the 13th anniversary of Brad’s passing, I was in labor 4 weeks early.
Brad’s namesake, Sara Bradley, was born the next morning weighing 7 pounds, 7 ounces (thank goodness she didn’t grow another 4 weeks, lol). As Cole was holding her for the first time I looked at him & said “you can no longer deny the love God has for you.” On a day that had been filled with so much sadness, grief, & tragedy, God restored JOY. He showed us life in a full circle 13 years later.
I went back to the Bible verse that had been shared with me, “Jesus replied, you don’t understand what I’m doing but someday you will” John 13:7 — WOW! It all made perfect sense. Sara Bradley was perfectly orchestrated to remind us of the HOPE & LOVE God has for us, along with the PEACE & JOY only He can provide.
I’m guilty of letting my fears & anxiety take over & have control of me on a daily basis. I’m guilty of letting personal struggles weigh me down. However, as Sara Bradley squealed in excitement this morning over wearing her beloved rainbow shirt & rainbow rain jacket, I was reminded to let go of everything that was weighing on me. While all of our fears, struggles, & walks of life are different, one thing is for certain, there is hope & peace when we seek God. We are never alone! Look for the rainbows following the storms!